i have never been so much worried about myself and the things and the people around me all my life. i donno, iam not raelly really happy with what am doing with myself. iam pretty much suer that am not at the right job that i would really love doing and not at the job i really should be, just that i havent figured out, which is the right one for me. so iam just filling in at the job which i really suck at and i hate too :((

one of the major crisis or problem that am going thro is i really donno what am expection outta life and mor importantly myself. just goin thro the duties of the day monotonously, without me enjoying anything i do. thats really bad ! i donno hppw long i will be able to continue in this fashion, a meaningless life of mine.

the other major thing thats actually freaking me out is friends. till now for me it has been like, friends are my life, friends first all the rest next. it was fun to be at friends place all night , six to eight of us doing all sorts of nonsense and have a gala time.eventhough i knew at that time each one of us will have their own path to take and walk. but little did i know that these diffrent paths is gonna be without any intersections with each other.
seriously i have so many , so many good friends but not one friend whom i feel like i can call upon now at 1.00 AM in the morning and talk my heart out em and cry out to em. nope not a single person.

i think part of the blame has to be on me, few people came close to being that one person, only i dint allow them i geuss. rather i chose to move on and fade away. now me being and feeling really lonely see myself in a desparate state, and can see myself going around friends keep on
pegging at their back to go ut with me, and keep arguing with friends who refuse to do so sighting some perviosly commited work, saying that all have changed and no one cared.
i pretty much know that the situation is not gonna get anybetter in the days to come or the near future. just hoping that i wouldnt worsen cos i got a stupid job at hand

have always felt this need of being alone(am sure u would get it had u read my prev blog), but not really the one that am goin thro right now.
hmmm the solution? i think all my situation will become a lot better once i find that one person whom i will be able to share all the nonsense thats doin rounds inside my head...........